My character looks like a Homer, and I have another round of edits:
- Have the camera track over to the island, so the island is coming into place, so the snowflakes will be moving across the screen. The clouds stay where they are. When the wind starts, the clouds move a little. And because it’s windy, the icicles should fall off to an angle. Apply wind to everything.
- Mountain top melts should go to the left.
Maybe the left one can just fly off.
- Have smoke move to the left with wind.
- Have pieces of wood fly off mountain.
- Split fire into tree separate pieces. So they can scale up at their own speed.
- During winter to spring earth fill / shake, have the whole island shaking,
like there’s an earth quake, and he’s looking around, he’s being bounced around the
island and then it all rests and that’s when stuff starts growing.
- Tree leafs should grow consecutively.
- Extra grass should grow with front grass.
- When trees start growing, mountain bottom should stop shaking.
- Springs can be in rest and animate mode. It should be a looping animation.
- He should be walking around the water in spring.
Have him walk circumference of the island. Don’t make it look like it’s flat surface.
It would be nice if he walks between trees. Give sense of dimension.
- As he’s walking he starts getting lower and lower in water, and then plunge in.
- Have him waving his hands a little bit earlier.
- When he falls in, have him falling in at an angle. From behind.
- On melting ice screams, don’t have their faces fade in.
They should have faces when the cream appears.
- When middle mountain is seen through trees, he should be looking at Jay.
- Instead of having drips off the ice scream, have them drip down into the water.
- Don’t have ice screams all melt at the same rate.
- Fix lines on everything.
- Have the sun appear from behind the island, changing the color of the sky
- Have the sun pull him out of the water and onto the island, throw him down hard.
- Get rid of the fish or give the fish more importance.
- Don’t have the chocolate and strawberry flying off. All three should melt
into the water and behind it is the mountains, they reveal the mountain
- The fall grass has to grow the same way
- While summer to fall is happening, clouds crash into each other and make the big angry baldy
- He looks weird flying by. Make him look better. Arms shorter? Have arms waving in front of him.
I was able to do everything on the list, except make the sun push away clouds with his hands, and also the grass being too crabby. I still want to add lines and fills to make this look better…
This is the feedback I got yesterday, the main of which is to animate Jay (formerly known as Scarfy).
1. Too much snow.
2. Snow on mountain should melt off toward back, curving.
3. Trees should all be consistent in how leafs grow.
4. Grass too crabby.
5. Water should expand and woosh / spill off the sides (summer to fall).
6. Make leafs on bottom of the island move slightly.
7. Move anchor points of ice screams to below the stick of each.
8. Too many clouds; reduce to beginning and end.
9. Have the summer sun appear with clouds and have him push away the clouds to appear.
10. Remove “sweat” from his teeth, no other typography in the video.
11. Have the ice screams melt into the pool and faces distort.
12. Fall wind cloud should break up after it blows Jay away.
13. Auto-orient island through the infinity symbol in the logo.
14. Write out “Mister” and “.com” at the end
JAY (THE CHARACTER):
1. Animate him.
2. Have him look at trees as they grow.
3. Have him walking around (spring) and end up in center before being dropped in summer pool.
Here is a draft of the spot in full. Still need to add lines throughout like the style frames (in the water and on the ice scream melting, and him sweating.)
This is what the spring scene will look like. Scarfy will be added in, and so will the transition from winter BEFORE and AFTER to summer. I have to figure out how to make Scarfy move around the island. Puppet tool? I haven’t used it, but I can look up tutorials. I am going to save the clay for the next project. I think this one fairs better as a drawn cartoon.